Lounging on the couch

I went out last night by myself for the first time since I left the O. I had the option to drive 60 miles south to hit up downtown Ft. Lauderdale with some chicks I knew from a friend of a great friend oooor do my solo thing 10 miles away. I opted for b. I took my time with getting ready, trying to figure out what to wear so as not to look like a target for assholes or kidnappers. I made sure the curly fro was poppin and the makeup was flawless; put on my 'I can dance in these' heels and made my way to downtown w.est p.alm. I talked on the phone for most of the ride with one of my homeboy's and told him that I would text for most of the evening and if he didn't get a text from me, to immediately call the police...lol. I initially thought I would go to the club advertised on the hiphop station and enjoy the pleasures of people watching my brownskinned fellow westpalmers. Fortunately, I got sidetracked. As I was walking to the club 'intended', I saw a group of brothers decked out in bad ass n.ikes and dressed like they were heading to a P.harell concert walk into the club 'actually went to'. As I changed my course to be where they were, I got stopped by a dude who called himself whiteboy.

'Hey pretty lady. Where are you headed to tonight?'

'Not sure.'

'What's your name sweet thang?'

'My name? Oh I don't give my name to strangers.'

'Oh, well, I don't have to be a stranger. Let me have your phone number and we can get to know each other.'

I laugh.

'Com'mon pretty lady. You are too damn fine for me to just give up. Will you at least humor me and take down my number? At least if you do that, I can hope and dream.'

'Sure.'

He requested that I save him in my phone as whiteboy, which I found to be rather hilarious. That was officially 5 minutes out of my car (cause I checked with the text time of my homeboy). Already, the night had started out interesting. I think I would have been all good if that was the only interesting thing that had happened, but I guess that was not to be the case.

I get into line and I can hear the house music seeping out of the wide open space of the club's opening. The bouncer stares at my license and gives me an appreciated once over. Now I already know that I will more than likely have to pay since it was past 12:00am so I pull out my cash and give the chick at the door my funds for entry. I take a deep breath, stick both of my hands in the pockets of my shorts following a quick adjustment of my glasses and head towards the second bar in the back.

I was in that club for about 3 hours and I can say that in total I stood alone for about 30 minutes all together throughout the entire night. I was spoken to by white men, asian men, the few specks of brown peppered in the club who all seemed to think I was the most amazing creature ever created, white women, spanish women, all the while texting my homeboy of the nights events so that he knew I didn't die. I felt so strong and independent and I went where I wanted, spoke to who I wanted and did my own thing. It was liberating in the best kind of way. A much needed liberation.

Since I have been here within this new city being this new me, I have been trying to figure myself out. Needless to say, it's been quite a struggle. I feel as though I am growing because the pains that I'm experiencing to do so are leaving their marks on my flesh.... But they are much needed and I know that God is working me over to be a blessed and highly favored woman that doesn't just talk about being independent and strong, but WALKS in that same manner as well.

Plans to hit up poetry night on Wednesday. Probably solo.